This past week, my daughter and I were visiting colleges in Colorado, in Boulder and Fort Collins to be exact. We had read that Fort Collins recently had two students awarded the Truman Scholarship and we were anticipating our visit to both schools with excitement.
For those of you who are not familiar with the scholarship, it is awarded by the Harry S. Truman Foundation and they give scholarships to 55-65 out of more than 600 applicants a year. They are given to those students who are committed to public service and receive $30,000 for graduate study in the U.S. or abroad. One of the reasons we were so excited is that my step-son is one of the finalists who received a scholarship! Yes it is ok to be proud, right?
My daughter and I went to Boulder first and all I felt was “meh” towards the town. It was “nice,” and that is about all I felt. Then, we moved on to the highly anticipated Fort Collins. I thought I would love it. But after touring the grounds and facilities, I felt let down. It was not what we anticipated at all.
So, back to Boulder we went! And as we went through the town and the school again, I realized I had not really given it a chance. I made a judgement based on my belief that the Fort Collins university would be better because she had already been accepted, she had a friend there and I had heard good things about the town and more importantly, It was her first choice ON paper!!!
And then I had a thought – women do the same thing in dating! We think (or idealize) how it should look and how it should be, and set ourselves up to miss what is really there. ALL THE TIME! We pre-judge men on their looks, their height, their weight, their job, how much money they make, what they drive, how they dress… I could go on and on how often we put preconceived notions in our heads, and how we hurt ourselves by doing so. As a result, we miss their amazing sense of humor, their kindness, their sense of responsibility towards those they love, how they want to make women happy!
And, sadly, we deny ourselves the opportunity to really get to know them for WHO they are, not for what shows up in superficial details and appearances.
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